I Sent You A Friend Request On The Day That You Died
I sent you a friend request on the day that you died. A friend request that I knew would linger unanswered for all of eternity. Or, at least until the death of Facebook. I still see it pending, unanswered, just like all of the questions that I’ve been carrying around with me since the day that you left.
Are you finally at peace, or did the afterlife bring you to your knees? How do you feel now that you have left your broken vessel behind? Are you free? Are you happy? Are you proud of yourself for holding on for as long as you did, or did it take more strength to find the courage to finally let go?
When you went, what did you see? In your last breath, did a mosaic of memories flash before your eyes? Did you cut yourself on any of the pieces of your story that belonged to you and I? Did you rise above it all, and look down at yourself one last time before going home? Did you look for me?
Do you know how much I love you? Do you still love me? Are you proud of who I am, even now? Has your newfound perspective, and ability to see things clearly from way up there changed your opinion of me, still here on the ground?
If you had the physical ability to do so, would you accept my friend request now? If you were alive, would you still want me in your life? Would you understand and forgive the ways in which I have finally chosen myself over the last year, even if it meant not choosing your loved ones who you left behind? Am I still worthy of your love and time, or, if given a second chance, would you simply hit decline?
© Gina Clingan 2021
