I Will Always Carry You With Me
I have encountered so many amazing people, and twice as many shitty ones. I carry every single one of them with me in the form of lessons learned, or scars inflicted. I’m honestly not sure if I’m better or worse for it, all I know is I am forever changed by our encounter. I am also grateful for the opportunity to learn more about myself and the world, through them. Even on the days when I wish we had never met, I am still aware that if not for them, I wouldn’t be me.
I can’t help but wonder if any of the people I have encountered in life carry me with them, in the same ways that I do them. Have I changed anyone by being present in their life for whatever short period of time I managed to stick around? Do they count having known me among their blessings, or their regrets? Am I responsible for inflicting any scars? What lessons have I taught without knowing? How have I influenced the people who dared to get too close? Did I make them want to be a better person, and if so, was it because they wanted to be more like me, or less? Do they tell stories about me, despite us no longer being a part of each other’s lives? Do they think of me in the fleeting moments of this life, or have they forgotten me entirely? Am I ever the trigger behind their smile, or am I just another culprit behind their tears?
I wonder how much of ourselves is actually us, and how much of us is made up of everyone we have ever encountered and loved. Or hated. Are we all just a compilation of fragments of each other? People change people, but I guess that is the whole point.
If you are reading this, just know that I will always carry your memory with me, even if your hands and heart are empty of mine. The parts of me that are made up of fragments of you are the ones that I love the most.
I will always carry you with me, no matter where I go.
© Gina Clingan 2021