Must’ve Been Love
It was a concussion kind of love.
A ringing in the new year
with cast-iron skillets
hidden in laps
prepared to be used as weapons
kind of love.
A pretty light show
of red, white, and blue
in the front yard
that men in uniforms came to witness
kind of love.
A BANG BANG BANG on the back door
for hours at a time
in the middle of a school night
kind of love.
A the cops stopped caring a long time ago
kind of love.
A kicking in the back door on Valentine’s Day
and shoving me in the kitchen
over some weed and Chapstick
kind of love.
A splatter a cup of coffee all over the walls and ceiling in the hallway
just to make me clean it up
kind of love.
A sleep at a friend’s house for a week
or a month
at a time just so I can focus on school
kind of love.
A home-turned-into-a-war-zone
kind of love.
A my teachers are mocking me
about my poor attendance
and grades again
kind of love.
An I wonder if I should just drop out now
because I probably won’t graduate high school anyway
kind of love.
A screaming match in the middle of the street,
better than Jerry Springer,
pull up a chair and take a seat
kind of love.
A flip over the dining room table
kind of love.
A tear up my momma’s flowers in the front yard
kind of love.
A smash my mom’s 48 inch flat screen TV
and run like a bitch
kind of love.
A stolen PlayStation 2
that you just got for Christmas
kind of love.
A cuts and bruises
kind of love.
A torn-up baby pictures kind of love.
A warrants out for his arrest
in every city he has ever been in
kind of love.
A hundreds of dollars stolen
out of my grandmother’s purse
while she was sleeping with it right next to her
kind of love.
A clothes flung
all over the front lawn
again
kind of love.
A deadbeat
kind of love.
A “have you noticed how tired
Momma and Daddy look lately?”
kind of love.
An I have so much fucking anger towards you
for bringing him in to our lives
kind of love.
An I hope it was all worth it
kind of love.
Was he worth it,
Love?
© Gina Clingan 2017
From my book, Redford, which can be purchased here
